Nice Spice Rack

The not-so-secret secret (yet not entirely visible) “heat” rating system in romance novels

In Romancelandia, there are some WILD discrepancies when it comes to the sexy business in these books. Just like a bra, it’s definitely not a one-size-fits all kind of situation. Additionally, there is no code printed on the covers to indicate the heat factor/spice level, so you don’t always know what you’re going to get.

One reader’s trash is another’s delighted “trashier.” A story might not be hot enough for your taste, or far too much. How do you know? Sometimes, you simply have to get under the hood and find out. You know, open the book and read it and all that.

However, there are clues to help guide you. And Goodreads. And Instagram. And TikTok. And your mother’s bookshelf—Clan of the Cave Bear, anyone? (This essay made me laugh out loud, BTW.) Or worse, Flowers in the Attic? We readers seem to find our way though, whether by getting a recommendation from your friend, reading reviews, or filling your quiver with…favorite authors. Here’s my take on the not-quite-visible rating system.

Photo by Lareised Leneseur on Unsplash

1 🌶 Kissing? Maybe. Longing? Yes!

For books in this category, there’s no sex on the page, but maaaaybe some kissing. It includes lots of *thoughts.* Hand holding, and internal monologuing. Hopes of been truly seen. Wishes of togetherness. Dreams of starting a family. Sharing an ice cream, or a plate of spaghetti, like in Lady and the Tramp.

There might be the brush of an arm, a loaded glance, a heartfelt letter, or a meet-cute at the dog park. Sadly, there are all these loaded terms associated with this heat level: sweet, wholesome, clean, religious, and inspirational. (As if sex is “dirty” or not “inspirational.” Frown! Max disagrees with the labels, but they are out there in the world.)

2 🌶🌶 Fondling!

Photo by Cesar La Rosa on Unsplash

Sex is probably happening but it’s behind a “closed door,” or occurs in a “fade to black” moment for all you cinematic thinkers. Basically, it’s private to the characters so there’s no telling what they get up to behind that door. Kind of like how it is with your parents. Or should be. Ew. But in this case, you’re intrigued about the goings-on behind said door, rather than repulsed.

A 🔥🔥 two-flame book can definitely be filled with sexy thoughts and fantasies galore, a little making out, or the talk of, “what I want to do to you…,” but you, Reader, won’t be a fly on the wall when the rubber meets the _______. (Fill in the blank with your word of choice.)

Women’s fiction often falls into this category (which, my friends is also known as FICTION. Stories that have women in leading roles. Thanks, patriarchy!) There is a wonderful description of this and the romance rating system on this episode of the Deadline City podcast.

3 🌶🌶 🌶 Tab A into Slot B

…but much hotter! Sex is on the page but the details are *relatively* spare. I mean, this is in comparison to a level four 🔥🔥🔥🔥 rating. There might be a lot going on in the characters’ minds during the act about how being together physically is changing their relationship/outlook/self-discovery, but it’s not super-duper juicy in the description department. Readers may disagree what constitutes a 3-alarm fire vs. a 4-alarm, and that’s all good. It’s all part of the readerly dialogue.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

4 🌶🌶🌶🌶 Getting hot, hot, hawt. Hands! Tongues! Penetration! Orgasms for days! Dirty talk! You might want to be alone for these face fan-worthy sex scenes, OR use it as fun read-aloud fodder for you and your partner. These sexy bits are descriptive, juicy, steamy and mmm-mmm good. This sexy, sexy romance is written for adults. Although now-a-days, some young adult crosses over into this category.

5 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶 Erotica!

Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

Kink! Bondage! Group sex! Erotic romance is graphic, and likely frequent. Let’s say you removed all sex scenes from one of these tales. The book would literally be incoherent. The sex is as much a part of the plot as all the other “stuff” that goes into the book, and in some cases, it’s almost everything.